Am I a people pleaser?
I feel like I don't have any real friends, and I just let people walk over me. It is hard to break out of this cycle. I need some help please
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I'm really glad you reached out. The good news is that you're aware of your pattern. Awareness = action. If you can recognize that you are a "people pleaser," you can make the changes to be more independent and self-assured. Part of you recognizes you deserve more (which is why you wrote the question), and we need to tap into that part!
Start by seeing that you want to be liked for you, not what you can do for others. Remember, friendships are reciprocal and not based on one person always saying yes. I encourage you, the next time you want to "people please," to think about why you are saying yes. Is it to be accepted and liked, or for a more balanced reason, like returning a favor or being a good friend? If the answer is the latter, you're on the right path. If it's the former, it's time to remember "no" is a complete sentence. You're not being mean by saying no; you're finally honoring yourself.
I am a licensed clinical social worker providing general information for educational purposes only. I am not liable for any decisions made or actions taken based on the information provided.
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Start by seeing that you want to be liked for you, not what you can do for others. Remember, friendships are reciprocal and not based on one person always saying yes. I encourage you, the next time you want to "people please," to think about why you are saying yes. Is it to be accepted and liked, or for a more balanced reason, like returning a favor or being a good friend? If the answer is the latter, you're on the right path. If it's the former, it's time to remember "no" is a complete sentence. You're not being mean by saying no; you're finally honoring yourself.
I am a licensed clinical social worker providing general information for educational purposes only. I am not liable for any decisions made or actions taken based on the information provided.
Alert them of how you feel; they might not even realize. But if it keeps happening, distance yourself from them. Respect is a 2-way street, and if they are not giving you theirs, you don't have to give yours to them. Of course, I would never recommend being rude; that would only make the situation worse, but you can stand up for yourself. Find better friends who treat you like you deserve to be treated.
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Tell people how you feel. If they keep treating you this way, stop talking to them. Stand your ground and everything will be okay. If your under 18 try asking your parents for help as well.
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