How to Look at What Your Child Does on the Internet Without Them Knowing

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Last Updated: December 8, 2025

So maybe you asked your child: "Can I see what you're doing on your computer?" Most of the time, they will quickly turn off the computer and say "NO!" Read on to look at what they're doing without letting them know.

Part 1

Part 1 of 4:

Before you Snoop

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Think twice before snooping on your child's computer. Your child has a right to privacy, and you should respect it whenever possible. If your child/teen finds out you searched their computer, there is a high likelihood that they will just become more secretive, and in the worst cases, this could lead to your child no longer trusting you, so please, only snoop if you believe your child is doing something truly dangerous.
- If your teenager is watching porn, it is usually in the best interests of everyone to let the situation go, as long as they are watching legal and safe porn and clear their search history when done. However, in some cases, you should take further action, like if a young child is watching porn or your teenager is being shown or given porn by someone older, as this is a sign of sexual abuse.^{[1]
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There are many dangers on the internet, whether on social media or otherwise. Rather than being overprotective and shielding them, you should talk to them about the various dangers of the internet and what they should do if they come across harm's way.

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It is tempting to watch over your teenagers' every movement online, but please don't do this. Studies have shown that teenagers whose parents snoop on them are more likely to become secretive later on in life, so again, unless your teen is doing something really dangerous, give them a break.^{[2]
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Set reasonable rules. Despite the above, you should set some guidelines. Make sure that they are aware to stay off illegal websites (dark web, child porn, etc.). Tell them how to report harmful content and how to manage addictions, and how to stay safe online.
- Don't be too strict. There are many stories of children and teenagers who become rebels because of strict parents (which can include using websites they have been told to stay away from).

Part 2

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Finding out Without Snooping

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Pay attention to their reactions. If, every time you enter your teen's room, they rush to change or turn off the computer, they might have been looking at something you might not be too fond of. Again, unless you believe they are truly up to something dangerous, refrain from further interrogation. Remember, your teenager might just want privacy, so don't punish them based on their reaction, especially if your attempts at snooping become regular.
- Sometimes, when your teenager hides their screen, they might be looking into exploring their gender, sexuality, or something else they think you would disapprove of.
Sometimes, you might be able to ask your teenager what they have been up to. Don't act like you are interrogating them, and if they don't answer, let it go. Make sure that your teen is aware that if they are exploring their identity, you will support them, but again, avoid overreaching.
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Deduce. If only sometimes your teenager closes their screen when you walk in, rather than every time, they might be doing stuff they think you would disapprove of. Again, it is probably better to leave your teen be (unless they are doing something illegal and/or dangerous).
- It is very easy to make the wrong assumption, so please be careful.

Part 3

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Snooping

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Seriously reflect before you snoop. Teenagers are growing, and while they may be doing something you disapprove of, it may not actually be harmful (for example, as long as it is legal and doesn't become an addiction, watching porn isn't necessarily harmful). Think about whether you would be happy if your parents searched your computer without asking you and proceeded to lecture you. Would you like it? Probably not.
These can be installed, usually discreetly, and sometimes for free, and will monitor everything done on the computer. Be aware, though, that these can be bypassed with relative ease, so if your teenager finds out you installed them, they could probably remove them.
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Check their search history. Do this while your teen is at school for the best results. Most web browsers will store search history, which can then be checked. On Firefox, click the options button at the far right of the screen, then click History to view recent searches. You can click "Manage history" for more search history beyond the most recent set. Other browsers typically follow similar measures.
- Search history can be cleared, or set not to record, so if your teenager is prepared for you snooping, they might have erased the evidence. An empty search history may indicate that they have been doing something, but if you come across this, just let it go. Your teen probably knows that you are snooping and has put in place measures to stop you.
- Sometimes, cleared search history may still appear on a Google account. YouTube videos and searches may be recorded outside of the browser's history, so if you have access, check these as well.
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Buy a monitoring device. There is dedicated hardware that connects to your internet and monitors all traffic. These can, however, be quite expensive, and can sometimes be bypassed relatively easily, so this should be a last resort.
- Buying one of these devices may appear as a privacy invasion in the eyes of a teenager, so please think carefully before buying one.
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Go easy on the punishments. It can be tempting to hand your teenager a months-long grounding after you found a lifetime supply of porn on their computer, but this carries the risk of making your teenager resent you for not accepting them, and will probably cause them to be more secretive.

Part 4

Part 4 of 4:

Moving Forward

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There is a high likelihood that you will get caught by your teen on their device. Tampering with search history and moving files may have given you away, or they may have come home a few minutes earlier than expected, and if this happens, it is important to apologize for snooping around. Tell your teen that you were only searching because you were concerned, but that you understand why they want privacy.
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Avoid making excuses. You may be tempted to make excuses for searching through their devices, but don't. If they see through you, it will only make the situation worse. Be honest and upfront about why you were doing what you did.
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Set healthy boundaries. It is important, after a breach of trust, to establish healthy boundaries. Set rules about what they can and cannot do on the computer, while ensuring they have boundaries with you that both sides will respect.
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Rebuild Trust. In the worst cases, if your teenager catches you searching their computer, they might not trust you anymore, and rebuilding trust can take lots of time, so you mustn't rush it. Talk to your teen and try to rebuild trust. Please treat them with respect and focus on rebuilding the relationship. Go out together occasionally and do things you both enjoy.^{[3]
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Don't do it again. This may sound obvious, but if you regain their trust only to search their computer again, you will be back at square one. Rebuilding trust is a long process and can be very difficult, and repeating the problem will only make this take longer. If you have a genuine concern about your teenager's online activity, talk to them about it.

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Wait for your child to leave the house, such as when they hang out with friends or go to school.

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Warnings

Your child may walk in when you take a peek at their account, so do it as soon as they are out of sight.

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It has been said many times, but please, don't be too harsh if you find something you disapprove of. If there isn't an immediate danger to you or your child, it is usually better to avoid a conflict and let the situation resolve itself.

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You may risk losing your child's trust in you if you invade their privacy.

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Router-level controls cannot usually view what websites have been accessed without further hardware (which costs money and can be bypassed).

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