What to Do if You’re Crushing on a Coworker: Readers & Experts Weigh In

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Get advice on how to pursue your crush or help the feelings fade

Co-authored by John Keegan and Devin McSween

Last Updated: February 23, 2026 Fact Checked

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• Pursuing Your Crush
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• Is flirting appropriate?
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• Signs They Like You Back
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• Coping with Your Crush
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• Navigating a Relationship

|Show more |Show less

Workplace crushes are super common and completely normal, as feelings are bound to arise when you spend 40 hours each week with someone. In fact, 26% of our wikiHow readers report that they’ve dated a coworker before! But what should you do if you have a crush? Whether you’re thinking about pursuing your workplace crush or want the feelings to fade, we’re here to help. In this article, we’re drawing on data from thousands of wikiHow readers to give you advice on how to flirt with your crush, identify the signs that they like you, and answer if it’s appropriate in the first place. We also spoke with relationship coaches, employee relations experts, and therapists for advice on how to cope with your crush.

How to Deal with a Crush on a Coworker

To cope with a crush on your coworker, 31% of our readers suggest distancing yourself. If you want to pursue your crush, talk and flirt with them (while keeping things professional). 44% of our readers suggest cracking jokes, 24% suggest asking questions about their life, and 43% suggest making eye contact to signal your interest.

Steps

Section 1 of 5:

What to Do if You Want to Pursue Your Crush

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   Make fun, lighthearted jokes to help form a connection. We asked our readers which approach is the best for starting a conversation with a coworker you’re crushing on, and 44% said to use a light joke about work to break the ice. This is a great way to appear fun and friendly, put yourself on their radar, and even charm them a little!

   • For instance, you might joke about needing another cup of coffee on a long day, or laugh about a typo you made on an email you sent them.
   • Keep your jokes positive and lighthearted, and appropriate for work. Avoid gossiping about or badmouthing your other coworkers.

   Meet the wikiHow Experts

   John Keegan is a dating coach, motivational speaker, and owner of The Awakened Lifestyle. He has over 15 years of experience helping people find love.

   Mark Rosenfeld is a dating & relationship coach and founder of Make Him Yours, a coaching business. He specializes in helping women find and keep relationships.

   Jeffrey Fermin is an employee relations expert. He currently works as Head of Demand Generation for AllVoices, a platform that manages employee relations issues.

   Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW is a therapist and psychotherapist specializing in individual and couples therapy. She focuses on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, and parenting.

   Imad Jbara is a relationship coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service in New York City.
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   Talk to your coworker to get to know them. Our readers definitely think it's a good idea to get to know your coworker better if you’re interested in pursuing them. In fact, 24% of our readers suggest that you ask open-ended questions about your coworker’s life and interests. For instance, talk to them about their hobbies, their favorite movies and music, and what they have planned for the weekend.

   • As you grow closer, relationships coach John Keegan says you might start to get more personal and find out more about their life outside of work. For instance, you might ask about their friends and family, or about their life goals.
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   Do some subtle, work-appropriate flirting. A bit of light flirting can be a great way to show your interest—just keep things professional while you’re at work. We asked wikiHow readers how they like to flirt with a coworker without putting their job on the line or making others uncomfortable, and here’s what they said:

   • Make eye contact: 43% recommend using eye contact as your primary flirting tool. Our readers say it’s the most effective way to signal interest without being “too much.”
   • Give a professional compliment: 20% of readers suggest praising your coworker’s recent accomplishments to show you notice their hard work.
   • Be Genuine: 25% of readers say to prioritize being attentive and genuine in your interactions with your coworker.
   • Give some physical cues: 17% recommend smiling at your coworker to flirt, while 15% suggest using very casual, appropriate touches to gauge their comfort level (like on their arm or shoulder).
   • Dating & relationship coach Mark Rosenfeld adds that a fun and engaging conversation, where you and your coworker are talking about things that excite or interest you, is another great way to flirt. He says this is a good time to bring in casual touches, like when you laugh.
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   Tell your coworker you’re interested if you think the feeling is mutual. Direct communication is key if you have feelings for your coworker and want to take things to the next level. If you suspect your coworker is flirting back but want to be sure, remember that 74% of our readers prefer direct, person-to-person discussions over involving third parties. So, find somewhere private to chat, too.

   • For instance, ask your coworker out on a casual date. Keegan suggests asking them to get coffee with you before work, or to grab a drink after work. From there, you can see where things go.
   • Or, simply tell your coworker how you feel. For instance, you might say something like, “Hey, Tamara! I really like talking to you, and I wanted to let you know that I have feelings for you.”
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   Remain professional and kind if your coworker’s not interested. Your coworker might not like you back or might not be comfortable dating a coworker, so plan for the possibility that they may turn you down. In particular, 38% of our readers say to prepare for some awkwardness because you work together. Just have a plan to remain professional, polite, and kind if they say the feeling isn’t mutual.

   • Respect your coworker’s answer and move on. Don’t ask them to reconsider or try to get them to change their mind.
   • For instance, say something like, “No worries, I understand! Thanks for letting me know.” This shows them that you’re mature and respectful, and that no hard feelings will get in the way of your professional relationship.
   • Remember that rejection isn’t a reflection of your self-worth, and be proud of putting yourself out there. Take some time for yourself to cope with the rejection, like by talking to friends and doing things you enjoy.
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Section 2 of 5:

Is it appropriate to flirt with a coworker?

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   It can be, but it’s important to know your workplace’s policies. A significant majority of our readers believe flirting in the workplace is appropriate, with 76% agreeing that it’s okay. That said, your company may not find flirting appropriate. It’s important to check the code of conduct at your workplace and any HR policies about dating to ensure you’re not breaking any rules, and that you’re remaining respectful and professional at work.

   • As Keegan mentions, most businesses have boundaries about dating, and a professional mission that’s not about flirting.
   • Our readers also have some concerns about flirting at work. 38% believe the biggest challenges are the fear of making things awkward and the fear of misinterpreting signals.
   • However, only 9% of our readers worry about HR policies, suggesting that personal social dynamics are a bigger concern than corporate rules.
   • Flirting can also lead to professional setbacks, as crushes can be distracting and cause you to lose focus. They can also potentially cause you to cross professional boundaries.
   • So, ensure that you maintain professional boundaries. If you choose to flirt, make sure it’s subtle and work-appropriate (e.g., eye contact, smiling, lighthearted jokes, friendly compliments) so everyone in your workplace feels comfortable and respected.

Section 3 of 5:

Signs Your Coworker Likes You Back

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1. 
   Check for smiling and compliments to tell if your coworker likes you, too. We asked our readers for the most common signals that mean a coworker is flirting with you and likes you. Here’s what they had to say:

   • Smiling and touching you: 17% of readers say frequent smiling is a “classic” physical sign of flirting, while 15% say occasional, casual touches are.
   • Making eye contact: According to 43% of our readers, the most effective way to flirt without being too forward is through sustained eye contact.
   • Giving you professional praise: Coworkers often use "safe" flirting by complimenting you on recent work accomplishments.
   • Asking about your life: Look for colleagues who ask open-ended questions to learn about your personal interests.
   • Helping you out: In fact, 12% of our readers say they’d help with a work project specifically to show support and spend time with their crush.
   • Being attentive: If a coworker is exceptionally genuine and attentive during your interactions, 25% of our readers say there’s a high chance they are interested.
   • Dressing to impress you: If your coworker suddenly looks spiffier, there’s a good chance they like you. 33% of our readers say the #1 personal benefit from having a workplace crush is that it makes them dress better!
   • Acting more engaged and productive: 16% of readers say to watch for a coworker who suddenly participates more, as that could be a sign they’re into you.
   • Appearing to work harder: 13% of our readers suggest keeping your eye on your coworker if they seem to be working harder than usual (which they might do to get your attention!).
   • Distancing to cope with their crush on you: Not all flirting signs are positive. 31% of readers say they cope with a crush by distancing themselves and avoiding the person outside of work to manage their feelings.
   • Focusing on work: Some people bury themselves in their professional development as a distraction (which can sometimes come across as being overly busy or dismissive). 23% of our readers agree they’d do this, too.
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Section 4 of 5:

How to Cope with a Crush on a Coworker

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1. 
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   Assess and acknowledge feelings. Whether you’re uncertain how to handle your crush or you know you don’t want it to go anywhere, pause and take stock of your feelings. Employee relations expert Jeffrey Fermin says to first acknowledge that crushes are normal. Accepting that simple fact can help you move on. Then, reflect on whether your crush is masking other feelings or concerns you might need to address.

   • Fermin explains that crushes can sometimes serve as a distraction from your personal issues. This is totally normal, but it’s important to figure out what those might be so you can deal with them and move on emotionally.
   • Relationship coach Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW suggests investigating why you might have a crush on your coworker, too. For instance, if they’re your superior or boss, it’s possible that the power dynamic excites you, or that you’re excited by the fact that they’re unavailable.
   • Don’t feel embarrassed or uncomfortable about having a crush. As Keegan explains, it makes complete sense to develop feelings for someone you’re around all the time, and even eventually date them. When you’re in an office together, it’s easy to connect because you’re talking all the time and going through shared experiences together.
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   Set boundaries and create distance. If you want your feelings to fade, Fermin suggests that you reduce your contact and exposure to your coworker. If you follow them on social media, mute their profile or even unfollow them for a while. Our readers agree, and 31% said the best method for coping with a workplace crush is distancing yourself and avoiding non-work interactions.

   • For instance, if you used to sit with your coworker at lunch every day, start sitting with a new group (or at the very least, not sit directly by your coworker). Keep your convos focused on work, and avoid talking about personal things.
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   Consider the consequences. Thinking about the reality of pursuing a relationship with your coworker can help your feelings fade. Keegan suggests asking yourself if you can really see yourself in a relationship with your coworker, or if you think it’d be more of a fling. Then, he says to think realistically about the possibility that the relationship doesn’t work out, as it could definitely affect your work.

   • As relationship coach Imad Jbara explains, if something doesn’t go right, now you have to interact with your coworker, even though you probably don’t want to see them. This can create a toxic environment that affects your career growth, work, and energy in the office.
   • Fermin adds that it’s helpful to remind yourself why your crush is unrealistic, too. For example, they might be in a relationship or have incompatible life goals with you.
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   Stay focused on your work. If you find your mind wandering to thoughts about your crush, use some productivity strategies to stay focused. For instance, make a list of all the big tasks you need to get done. Then, break them up into smaller tasks and set a schedule for working on them in 30 to 60-minute chunks. Make sure to take breaks and reward yourself once you’re all done!

   • Of course, remove any distractions (especially if they make you think of your crush). For instance, silence your phone and close out of your social media apps. Decluttering your desk can be helpful, too.
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   Keep your interactions professional. While they might be your crush now, they’re your coworker first and foremost, and it’s important to treat them like any other colleague. It’s okay if you have to distance yourself to cope, but do stay polite, kind, and respectful. For instance, greet them in the morning, congratulate them on their successes, and thank them for their help.

   • When it comes to crushes, Fermin says they just take time to get over. He says, “Allow yourself to grieve the idea of the relationship and be patient…Over time, with understanding and effort, you'll find a path that allows you to embrace the present and look forward to new experiences.”
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   Talk to a friend. If you don’t want to act on your crush, Miller says it’s a great idea to talk to a close friend, or even a therapist. Fermin agrees and says that sharing your feelings can provide a fresh perspective and provide emotional support.

   • Talking to someone can also help you reframe your crush. For example, Miller says you can identify what it is that’s attractive about your coworker, and use that information to help you find a future partner.
   • Miller says it’s also important to remember that your coworker isn’t the last person on Earth! If you’re attracted to their work ethic or intelligence, there are other people who have those qualities.
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   Distract yourself with friends and hobbies. Outside of work, Fermin recommends engaging in the activities you love, whether that’s reading, playing sports, or simply hanging out with friends. He says staying occupied can help divert your attention.
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Section 5 of 5:

Navigating a Relationship with a Coworker

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   Check your company’s policies about relationships. Keegan notes that some corporations frown upon dating in the workplace, and some might not even allow it at all. Even if your company allows coworkers to date, they likely still have rules and boundaries in place. So, read through your company’s employee handbook or HR policies to ensure you're not breaking any rules and jeopardizing your job.

   • Keegan adds that the rules are typically stricter if you have direct influence over your coworker (i.e., you’re their superior or boss). In these cases, he advises not pursuing a relationship with them.
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   Talk to HR about your relationship. If your company allows relationships and you and your coworker decide to pursue one, make sure you disclose it to HR (besides, your company’s policies might have a rule to do that, anyway). This shows you’re both serious about your jobs, and helps prevent any issues and potential awkwardness down the road (like providing feedback and navigating conflicts of interest or favoritism).
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   Set boundaries between your professional and personal lives. If you and your coworker decide to date, Keegan says it's important to have an adult conversation about how you’re going to navigate working closely together. Jbara agrees, saying you should definitely set boundaries and rules (or even create a contract) in the beginning, as both of your careers are important.

   • For example, discuss how you’ll keep personal matters and conflicts out of the office, how you’ll treat each other professionally at work and handle affection, and how you’ll deal with conflicts of interest. It’s a good idea to discuss what you’ll do if the relationship doesn’t work out, too.
   • Jbara even suggests trying to switch departments so you’re not working directly with each other every day.
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   Keep the workplace professional. Meeting your partner at work is very common, and lots of couples continue to work together throughout their relationship! That said, you want to ensure the office stays a professional and comfortable space for everyone. So, avoid any PDA and pet names, and try to keep personal discussions out of the workplace. While at work, aim to treat your partner just like any other colleague.
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