My dad asked me if I was trans...it went..questionably.
Yesterday, (Dec 17 for ppl reading this later), my dad pulled me into his room for a chat about my sexuality because the name on my paper wasn't my birth name, it was Leo instead. He talked to me about it and I told him everything because he wouldn't stop asking if I didn't tell him everything. He said that my feelings were fake and that I wasn't actually transgender and that I was just "confused" and to think about what he said. So, naturally, I didn't think about what he said and just threw It out to the wind. Now, at least he's using more neutral terms for me like 'kid' instead of 'girl' and stuff like that which is the good part..but he keeps bringing up that I'm a 'girl' whenever he can. Like in conversations, he'll be like "Oh yeah she's a beautiful girl." That honestly really makes me upset but I didn't say anything bc he'll just shoot me down again. Now I'm apprehensive if I should push back or do nothing..Because if I push back he might start doubling down the fact that I was born a girl but if I do nothing it'll hurt me more in the long run. What do I do?
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First and foremost, you're not alone. The best advice I can give you is do what you need to do for your sanity, your peace, and to be who you are for your own mental health. Whether that’s pushing back and standing your ground or letting it go, do what's best for you. In these situations, having a friend who knows about it and who you can talk to will help. Especially if you can have an adult in your life, like a family member who is loving and accepting, who is willing to use your chosen name, your preferred pronouns, that can help.
Sometimes our birth families never come around, so it is really important to find those people in your life, that chosen family, who will love and accept you for who you are. I made it through because I've had chosen family who have lifted me up, who have accepted me, who have showered me in love and grace, and just seen me for who I am. Because you cannot force someone to use your right name, to use your right pronouns. You cannot force someone, and I talk about it in my book, but often hate begets hate. If you try to combat people in an argumentative way, they're just going to double down. The way your father will come around to it is when he sees other people using your lived name, your preferred pronouns. When he sees people accepting you for who you are, that's how he will come around.
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Sometimes our birth families never come around, so it is really important to find those people in your life, that chosen family, who will love and accept you for who you are. I made it through because I've had chosen family who have lifted me up, who have accepted me, who have showered me in love and grace, and just seen me for who I am. Because you cannot force someone to use your right name, to use your right pronouns. You cannot force someone, and I talk about it in my book, but often hate begets hate. If you try to combat people in an argumentative way, they're just going to double down. The way your father will come around to it is when he sees other people using your lived name, your preferred pronouns. When he sees people accepting you for who you are, that's how he will come around.
Oh no :( well that one trans kid, be my trans buddy. We can make it thru this. My two blahaj (trans sharks from Ikea) and trans plushie dreadful (trans bunny) and normal bunny plushie say u are valid
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Hey, I know it sucks, but you need to be strong. You deserve to feel validated, not to have gender dysphoria shoved in your face and dead named.
I suggest really having a proper conversation with your dad. Just say to him how much it hurts when he invalidates your gender (which, btw, is valid. I 100% support you ).
Explain certain things that make you know/feel that you're trans, and just ask that your dad accepts you to the best of his ability.
Potentially, depending on who your dad is, explain the biological process that causes people to be trans (happy to tell if you don't know).
Also, I'd remind him that, regardless, you are his child, and that means love. Working towards making you the adult you will become requires communication between you both, and requires you to feel validated.
Stay strong, and if you want any correct gendering, happy to help! :D
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I suggest really having a proper conversation with your dad. Just say to him how much it hurts when he invalidates your gender (which, btw, is valid. I 100% support you ).
Explain certain things that make you know/feel that you're trans, and just ask that your dad accepts you to the best of his ability.
Potentially, depending on who your dad is, explain the biological process that causes people to be trans (happy to tell if you don't know).
Also, I'd remind him that, regardless, you are his child, and that means love. Working towards making you the adult you will become requires communication between you both, and requires you to feel validated.
Stay strong, and if you want any correct gendering, happy to help! :D
Okay I know your going to deal with this a lot and it sucks, I know (I had to do it when I came out as Demisexual & Bisexual) You can make it though it! I promise... just try and ignore ppl like that because all their going to do is bring you down, so if you really want try and talk to your dad (That's going to be the hard part) If he doesn't approve then ignore his answers and show him g\just how much this means to you. You can also talk to close friends and tell them how you feel. If they are good friends they'll help you out and if not remember you have all us behind you!!!!!! Good luck. Talking is the hard part love, you can do this!!!!
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Hey, I know it sucks, but you need to be strong. You deserve to feel validated, not to have gender dysphoria shoved in your face and dead named.
I suggest really having a proper conversation with your dad. Just say to him how much it hurts when he invalidates your gender (which, btw, is valid. I 100% support you ).
Explain certain things that make you know/feel that you're trans, and just ask that your dad accepts you to the best of his ability.
Potentially, depending on who your dad is, explain the biological process that causes people to be trans (happy to tell if you don't know).
Also, I'd remind him that, regardless, you are his child, and that means love. Working towards making you the adult you will become requires communication between you both, and requires you to feel validated.
Stay strong, and if you want any correct gendering, happy to help! :D
View hidden comment
I suggest really having a proper conversation with your dad. Just say to him how much it hurts when he invalidates your gender (which, btw, is valid. I 100% support you ).
Explain certain things that make you know/feel that you're trans, and just ask that your dad accepts you to the best of his ability.
Potentially, depending on who your dad is, explain the biological process that causes people to be trans (happy to tell if you don't know).
Also, I'd remind him that, regardless, you are his child, and that means love. Working towards making you the adult you will become requires communication between you both, and requires you to feel validated.
Stay strong, and if you want any correct gendering, happy to help! :D
It's fine-keep on pushing, and even though ur dad might not like it, keep on going cuz if that's who u are u should'nt hide so u can feel like urself.
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If you used to be female but now you're male, there is nothing wrong with that. Don't let your dad tell you that your feelings are fake or invalid. We are here to support you!♥
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THATS SO TRUEEE! my dad doesn't know I'm a Bisexual Asexual bc I'm scared to tell him. I think he's homophobic bc he doesn't like Trans-gender people [I do support!] and I don't think I'll ever tell him unless my sister does...
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Look you have to help them understand. You can't just give up and say he's homophobic. Look you say your scared, hell don't you think he is too. That's the problem fear, and all fear is is not knowing. When you don't know about something your scared until you start to learn. Get him some information to read. Find someone more his age to talk to him. My mom talked to a lot of people and she wasn't easy with them. I had a sister die at 16. So my mother would slap them in the face with that if they wouldn't listen. She would say would you rather lose your child before they even got started in life or would you rather still have them and let them find their self. Come on if you think your life would be good if you didn't try to understand your wrong. You will be miserable because your allowing negative emotions take space in your head and heart. Hang on because things will go the way there supposed to in your life you can't rush life, you have to let it flow at its own speed..
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Your dad might only be transphobic (Not like that's much better) But try talking to him
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It's really awful that this is happening in your household. As a fellow trans kid, I get how much misgendering hurts. Are any of your friends queer, with supportive family? You might be able to ask their family to talk to your dad? I hope your doing ok. We support you!!
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BE UR SELF! Don't let other people get in your way, even you dad and your family and everyone. You are you.
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