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Psychologist Maggie Mitchell offers actionable advice for slowing the energy drain, so you can feel peace
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TikTok is flooded with advice on how to stop letting energy vampires harvest your energy. This trending topic isn't about the vampires from the fairytales, with blood-sucking fangs and an aversion to sunlight. It's about real people who think and speak negatively, and who bring you down with their unhappiness. Being the object of their energy pull might leave you feeling tired, depressed, and even hopeless or angry. Keep reading to learn about energy pulling on TikTok, how to stop someone from pulling your energy, and the signs your energy is being stolen. We'll also share expert advice on how to deal with energy vampires from psychologists and a family and relationship coach.

How do you stop someone from draining your energy?

Psychologist Maggie Mitchell suggests limiting the amount of attention and access you give to that person. Other ways to avoid getting drained by an energy vampire include:

  • Go gray rock and stop reacting to them emotionally.
  • Visualize removing or blocking their negative energy.
  • Set verbal boundaries against negative people and energy.
  • Cut the life cord connecting you to that person.
  • Use your energy to do something positive so they can't steal it.
  • Build your store of positive energy.
Section 1 of 3:

Energy Pulling TikTok Trend Explained

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  1. Some people believe that positive emotions, like happiness and gratitude, create positive energy. Meanwhile, negative emotions, like sadness and anxiety, create negative energy. If your mood suddenly shifts from optimistic to pessimistic for no apparent reason, spiritual TikTok creators like @emotionallypate in this video say that someone is probably pulling on your energy. They're thinking about you negatively or projecting negative emotions that make you feel bad about yourself and life in general.
    • The person pulling on your energy could also be someone you interact with. Psychologist Alison Broennimann, PhD, says an energy vampire feeds off your compassion and empathy without hearing about or reflecting your feelings.[1] If you always feel drained after talking to one specific person, they could be the source of the bad feelings affecting your mood.
    • They also may not be targeting you specifically. For example, let's say you're checking out at the store and feel depressed after interacting with the cashier. They may be projecting their negativity onto everyone they interact with. You just happened to be the next target.

    Meet the wikiHow Experts

    Maggie Mitchell is a psychologist and a life coach with over 15 years of experience. She specializes in helping individuals with communication, anxiety, stress, problem-solving, decision-making, meditation, and healthy boundaries.

    Alison Broennimann, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist with over a decade of experience. She specializes in in-depth psychotherapy to provide solution-focused treatments for anxiety, depression, relationship problems, and more.

    Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA, is a family and relationship coach with more than 15 years of experience. Her ultimate goal is to help her clients create the life they desire.

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Section 2 of 3:

How to Stop Someone from Pulling Your Energy

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  1. In this TikTok from @peacefulbarb, the creator explains that the most effective way to deal with a manipulative person who's stealing your energy is to use the gray rock method. This method involves pretending you're as solid and unemotional as a gray rock. Act completely uninterested in what they're saying, so they'll lose interest in you and stop trying to siphon off your energy.
  2. In this TikTok posted by @gabbybernsteinofficial, the creator lists 2 ways to use visualization to stop someone else's negative energy from ruining your day. The first is to imagine a vacuum over your head that's sucking up all the bad vibes from your spirit. The second is to imagine pulling a cloak over your body that literally blocks negative energy from entering your body.
    • You can also use the cloak visualization to "protect" your positive energy from getting pulled out!
  3. In the same video from the visualization technique above, TikTok creator @gabbybernsteinofficial recommends setting verbal boundaries against negative energy. For example, you can say out loud, "I'm going to release any negative energy I've picked up." You can also use this strategy on the person who's draining your energy. Tell them "No, thank you" when they ask you to do something you don't want to do, or say, "I don't feel comfortable talking about this" when they complain or rant to you.
  4. Another visualization technique, as explained in this video by @christinathemedium, is to envision a life cord between yourself and the person who's stealing your energy. Then imagine cutting the cord, so you're no longer connected. Alternatively, visualize someone else cutting the cord, like a spiritual guardian or the gatekeeper to your soul.
    • You can also cut a person out of your life physically. This video by @streetpoet_1125 suggests taking away "the straw" that people use to suck the life out of you. This means deleting their phone number, unfollowing them on social media, and refusing to hang out with them anymore. This will help you feel better immediately!
    • If you can't cut them off physically (i.e., they're a close relative or the friend of a friend), limit their access to you. Try not to engage with them one-on-one at get-togethers, and don't answer their texts or phone calls. "Limiting your availability and access to attention seekers preserves your sanity," says Mitchell.[2]
  5. In this TikTok by @divinelyprotected_999, the creator recommends using your energy for positive actions to prevent it from being stolen. If you're stagnant and passive, your energy is easier to pull. Here are some ideas for positive actions that will help you use your energy for good:
    • Prioritize your health and well-being through exercise and meditation.
    • Send flowers to a loved one.
    • Encourage a friend or family member who feels down.
    • Buy lunch for the stranger waiting behind you in the fast food line.
    • Volunteer at a food bank.
  6. Family and relationship coach Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA, says that by working on "the positive aspects of your own life and the positive parts of other people, you're much more likely to…stay peaceful, calm, and emotionally stable." This is an "immensely important skill to have," she says, especially when you can't avoid interacting with a negative, emotionally draining person.[3]
  7. A psychologist or therapist can offer you more helpful and personalized strategies for dealing with your energy vampire. They may also be able to help you dig deep in your psyche to find any hidden traumas or bad habits that make you extra vulnerable and attractive to energy vampires.
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Section 3 of 3:

Signs Someone Is Stealing Your Energy

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  1. No matter what you do or where you go, this person always pops up in your mind. You don't want to think about them, but you find them intruding in your thoughts anyway. You might even find yourself daydreaming about them before catching yourself.
  2. You were in a good mood only 5 minutes ago, but now you feel terrible. Nothing has happened to make you feel this way, so where's the negative energy coming from? This TikTok by @cecevibrations explains that it may be coming from someone who's thinking about you and tugging on your spirit.
  3. In the same TikTok we referenced earlier about cutting the cord to your energy vampire, @christinathemedium explains that dreaming about someone repeatedly is one of the most obvious signs that they're pulling on your energy. For example, you might dream about them taking you to their house against your will.
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References

  1. Allison Broennimann, PhD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview
  2. Maggie Mitchell. Psychologist. Expert Interview
  3. Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA. Family & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
  4. Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA. Family & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview

About This Article

Maggie Mitchell
Co-authored by:
Life Coach
This article was co-authored by Maggie Mitchell and by wikiHow staff writer, Elaine Heredia, BA. Maggie Mitchell is a Life Coach and the Owner of InnerCoastal Coaching in Raleigh, North Carolina. With more than 15 years of experience, she specializes in helping individuals with communication, anxiety, stress, problem-solving, decision making, meditation, and healthy boundaries. Maggie holds an MS in Counseling Psychology from Gannon University and received her Executive Coach Certificate from The International Coaching Community (ICC).
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Co-authors: 2
Updated: January 18, 2026
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