Why Your Boyfriend Keeps Having Dreams of You Cheating

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Dream interpreter Jesse Lyon, MS, weighs in on the meaning behind these dreams

Co-authored by Jesse Lyon, MS, CCHt, QS, LMHC and Eric McClure

Last Updated: January 26, 2026 Fact Checked

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• Reasons for the Dreams
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• How normal is this?
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• What to Do
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• Video

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Dreams about infidelity are exceptionally common. In fact, they’re so common that professional researchers, therapists, and psychologists have studied them! That’s why we met with professionals in these fields: to get a better understanding of what cheating dreams mean, why your boyfriend is having them, and what you can do to put an end to any drama or friction being caused by these dreams. Keep reading for everything you need to know!

The Meaning of Recurrent Dreams about Cheating

Dream interpreter Jesse Lyon, MS, says that dreams about a person cheating on you likely reflect an “unresolved problem,” although that problem may have nothing to do with you (or cheating!). It could be that your boyfriend:

• Is insecure in your relationship and scared of you cheating.
• Is scared of being abandoned due to a past trauma.
• Is simply stressed out due to something else.
• Is picking up on a real problem or projecting his own issues.

Steps

Section 1 of 3:

Reasons for Your Boyfriend’s Dreams

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1. 
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   He’s insecure. Dreams are often a manifestation of whatever is bothering us, so if your boyfriend is dreaming about you cheating, the most logical explanation is that he’s just really insecure about you cheating. If you haven’t done anything to realistically trigger these feelings, don’t be hard on yourself—boyfriends and girlfriends everywhere are often insecure about cheating, especially when a relationship goes to the next level or it’s just starting out.

   • Is your boyfriend kind of a naturally insecure guy? Does he get worried about how people view him, whether he’s attractive or not, or even how they perceive his intellect? If so, this is very likely the source of the problematic dreams.

   Meet the wikiHow Experts

   Jesse Lyon, MS, CCHt, QS, LMHC is a dream interpreter with a decade of experience helping people resolve trauma and process dreams.

   Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC is a licensed professional counselor who specializes in helping couples resolve conflict and navigate issues.

   Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC is a relationship therapist who helps individuals and couples grow stronger through therapy.
2. 
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   He has abandonment issues. Lyon says that uncomfortable dreams are often a byproduct of unresolved problems. If your boyfriend has experienced trauma as a result of people in his life leaving him in the past, the cheating dreams could be a manifestation of that.

   • It doesn’t have to be romantic abandonment, either. If your boyfriend’s dad left the family when he was young, it could trigger the same kind of dreams.
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   He’s stressed and redirecting the energy. Lyon explains that sometimes, "Dreaming about someone is basically your mind trying to connect with an idea that person represents." In other words, it’s possible that your boyfriend is subconsciously converting stress from elsewhere in his life and projecting it onto you because you’re so important to him. Lyon concedes that dream logic is often about forming random connections, so if he’s struggling with something at work, school, or with another friend, his cheating dreams may simply be an extension of that.

   • Ask your boyfriend how he’s doing with other stressors in his life. Don’t even mention the dreams. If he’s got a lot on his plate, that’s a huge indicator that this could be the source of his issues.
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   He’s picking up on something real from another guy. Do you have a guy friend he just met who has always kind of had a thing for you? Is there a male coworker you tolerate who is terrible at pretending to not flirt with you? It’s possible your boyfriend is noticing something coming from another man in your life and that’s triggering these dreams—even if you haven’t done anything to reciprocate the signals these other guys are sending.

   • Guys can be a little territorial and weird sometimes around male friends, but that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong by hanging out with other guys. This is his problem, not yours.
   • Exposure might be the best solution with this one. If you know your guy friend is harmless, having him hang out with you and your boyfriend could give your man the time and experience he needs to learn that this guy isn’t a real problem.
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   His dreams don’t mean anything. Lyon explains, “The mind, especially the subconscious mind, which is what we're really talking about when we talk about dreams, operates on two levels. And when I say subconscious mind, I don't mean anything mystical or magical. Simply what I mean is that there are a lot of automatic processes that happen in the brain.” Think of all the weird dreams you’ve had in your life. Did that time you dreamt you built a shed with your neighbor mean anything? What about that dream about you being a bug on a quest for hidden treasure? Sometimes, weird dreams are just weird dreams.

   • Some people are also just naturally vivid dreamers. If your boyfriend often tells you about his weird dreams and they tend to be very absurd, these cheating dreams likely don’t mean anything.
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   He’s projecting and he’s the one with infidelity issues. Ever hear the phrase, “Every accusation is a confession?” As weird as it may sound, people who cheat are known for accusing their partners of cheating as a form of self-defense. If there’s evidence that he is cheating on you, take his dreams and concerns with a grain of salt.

   • This isn’t to say that you should assume he’s cheating on you. The odds are much higher that the explanation for these dreams are much more mundane. However, if he takes these dreams as an opportunity to accuse you, put you down, or blame you, it’s worth taking this possibility into consideration.
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Section 2 of 3:

Are these kinds of dream normal?

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1. 
   Yes, dreams of infidelity are extremely common. Lyon explains that dreams are really just a physical process where your brain churns through a bunch of experiences and feelings, but that doesn’t make the dreams automatically meaningful: “When we go to sleep, our mind shuts down that prefrontal cortex, but all of those other parts of the brain start to really light up and activate because it's processing the information we've gathered from the day. Not to be long-winded, but when we dream, our mind is processing all that data.” It’s super common and normal for this process to occasionally produce dreams about cheating.

   • Dreams about cheating do not mean anyone is cheating. It’s important to emphasize that there doesn’t seem to be any kind of statistical relationship between dreams about infidelity and actual infidelity. While it’s possible one of you is cheating, the dreams themselves are not evidence of that.

Section 3 of 3:

Dealing with Your Boyfriend’s Dreams

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1. 
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   Assess how big of a problem this is. If your boyfriend sort of offhandedly mentioned these dreams and they haven’t led to any arguments or tension, it’s probably not a big deal—he’s had some weird dreams, he’s not reading too much into it, and he’s moving on. Totally cool. If this is causing friction in your relationship, or if he’s clearly bothered deeply by what he’s been going through, it’s worth addressing.

   • If this doesn’t seem to bother your boyfriend, don’t read too much into it. It’s very likely that he only brought this up as a funny story or weird anecdote.
   • If these dreams are causing conflict or something feels “off,” it’s best to confront this head-on and discuss the dreams with your boyfriend.
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   Sit down and discuss how your boyfriend feels. Relationship therapist Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC, breaks down the best way to go about this: "It's about moving away from blame and opening the discussion and exploring, rather than making accusations. [Don’t say] ‘Oh, you just want to cheat on me, you don't like me, etc.’ Instead, say: ‘I get that you feel jealous. I don't know what to do. I would appreciate it if you do X or Y. What do you think?’"

   • You might say something like, “Where is this coming from? Do you think I’m actually cheating on you just because you had a dream about it? Or is something else going on here?”
   • You could also try, “I know your dreams are probably upsetting to you. I totally get that. What can I do to help you feel better?”
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   Alleviate your boyfriend’s fears. Ratson explains that at the end of the day, “We all want to be validated. We all want to be understood. We all want to be loved.” Your boyfriend is worried that you’re going to cheat on him (or are already cheating on him), so explain that you aren’t. Remind him that you love and/or care about him, that you aren’t going anywhere, and that he has nothing to worry about.

   • A simple, “You know I love you, right? I’d never do anything to ruin your trust,” will suffice here.
   • Don’t keep going back to this well. Soothe his fears once or twice, then move on. If you break out the “Oh, you poor thing, I love you so much,” speech every time your boyfriend has a bad dream, you might start reinforcing the idea that it’s valid to be spooked every time he has a dream.
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   Set firm boundaries if he’s crossing the line. Ratson says that it’s essential to figure out where your boyfriend’s concerns are worth respecting and where they’re going so far over the line that they’re unacceptable. “Again, to what degree the jealousy is valid or not valid, to what degree the jealousy is coming from historical experiences, and to what degree are you acting in a certain way that causes this behavior.”

   • Is your boyfriend actively accusing you of cheating just because he had a dream? Is he acting out or picking fights with you because he’s in a funk after these dreams? That’s not okay. It’s totally normal and valid to be upset about a dream, but it’s not okay to treat your poorly just because he had a weird dream.
   • You might say something like, “I get that you’re upset, but you’re not allowed to yell at me or put me down just because you had a dream.” It’s good to stand firm on this.
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   Give your boyfriend time to get over it. At a certain point, you’ve done all you can do. If it’s still bothering him, just give him space to process, and don’t put too much energy into this. Give him time to chill out. He’ll eventually get over it and realize that this is all in his head, and that you aren’t doing anything untrustworthy. Sometimes, stuff like this just takes time. Besides, it’s not like you can reach inside of his head and fix his subconscious thoughts for him!

   • As licensed professional counselor Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC, points out, “If someone has trust issues from previous relationships…that’s on them to resolve.”
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