Why You Shouldn’t Tuck Your Hair Behind Your Ears & How to Stop

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Body language & nonverbal communication expert Dr. Abbie Maroño shares psychological reasons why people touch their hair

Co-authored by Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW and Bertha Isabel Crombet, PhD

Last Updated: December 15, 2025 Fact Checked

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• Why It’s Bad
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• Is there a deeper psychological meaning?
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• How to Stop
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• Is it always bad?

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For those with long hair, tucking it behind the ears is a hard habit to break. Whether it be a nervous tic or a personal preference, tucking a few strands behind the ears is a common way that people wear their hair. It may seem like a totally harmless gesture, but is it? Or can it actually damage your hair? Keep reading to learn why tucking your hair behind your ears may not be the best move—literally. Plus, we offer relevant insights from a body language expert, psychotherapist, and hairstylist on why people do it and how to stop.

Is tucking hair behind the ears bad?

Body language & nonverbal communication expert Dr. Abbie Maroño says tucking hair back can make someone appear nervous, self-conscious, or anxious. Doing it repeatedly builds tension in the hair, which can lead to damage and breakage. Try hairstyles that keep hair away from the face and address your underlying anxiety.

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Section 1 of 4:

Why shouldn’t you tuck your hair behind your ears?

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   It can lead to breakage. Even if you’re doing your tucking with care, the constant tension of pulling hair back behind the ears can lead to breakage. The ultra-fine strands around the face are more prone to breakage than the rest of the hair, so tucking them repeatedly over a period of time is likely to break them. This can lead to split ends, frizz, and a less-than-luscious look.

   • While it’s normal to lose 50-100 strands a day from the root due to natural shedding, it’s not normal for hair to break off at the shaft.
   • Breakage often occurs as a result of too much heat styling, harsh chemicals in styling products, and poor handling practices, like pulling it too tightly into a bun.

   Meet the wikiHow Experts

   Dr. Abbie Maroño is a body language & nonverbal communication expert. She is acknowledged by the U.S. Department of State as a top 1% expert in her field and has been featured on BBC News, WIRED, and Fox News.

   Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, is a certified accelerated experiential dynamic psychotherapy (AEDP) psychotherapist and emotions educator based in New York City. She has almost 20 years of experience.

   Martha Ellen Mabry is a hairstylist and the founder of Headchop Hair Studio in Brooklyn, New York. Martha Ellen founded Headchop in 2011 and has been providing high-quality hair styling services in New York ever since.
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   It can look unflattering. Moving hair behind the ears can create a look of flatness on the side of the head where the hair has been tucked, especially if you have thin hair. A double-tucked look can also make the forehead appear longer and wider. For those with strong facial features, moving the hair away from the face can accentuate certain features even more, like a larger nose or prominent ears. Flat hair coupled with strong features can result in an unbalanced look.

   • However, not everyone finds this look unflattering, as it’s generally up to one’s personal preference.
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   It can make you appear nervous or distracted. Body language can communicate how we’re feeling far better than words can and often without our knowledge. If someone repeatedly tucks their hair behind their ears, this may suggest that they’re uncomfortable, nervous, or otherwise uneasy. In professional settings, this gesture can convey feelings of inadequacy or shyness. If you do this on a date, it may clue your crush in that you’re nervous to be around them.

   • However, it can also be viewed as preening. Some women do this to appear more attractive and put-together, and use it to flirt.
   • When it comes to understanding body language, ear touching in general is considered a self-soothing technique when someone is anxious or stressed.
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Section 2 of 4:

Does hair tucking have a deeper psychological meaning?

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   It can be a way to self-soothe when you’re nervous or embarrassed. According to Dr. Maroño, “Psychological research shows that some repetitive self directed movements, including hair touching or tucking, can function as self regulatory behaviours. These are actions the nervous system uses to manage emotional or cognitive load. They are not always conscious and do not necessarily reflect deception or romantic interest, but they can indicate internal regulation.”

   • Dr. Maroño notes, “In social psychology, self directed behaviours such as touching the face, rubbing the hands, or adjusting the hair often appear when someone is experiencing mild stress, uncertainty, embarrassment, or cognitive effort. These movements stimulate mechanoreceptors in the skin, which helps calm the nervous system and reduce arousal. This is why people often touch their hair or face more during moments of social pressure, when thinking hard, or when they feel watched.”
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   Some do it when they're worried about making a good impression. “Hair tucking can also appear in situations that involve impression management,” Dr. Maroño continues. “People sometimes tidy or adjust their appearance when they want to feel more composed or socially appropriate. This does not necessarily signal romantic interest, but rather a desire to present themselves in a controlled and socially comfortable way.”

   • “In some cases, hair tucking can occur when someone feels self conscious or becomes more aware of their body language,” Dr. Maroño says. “For individuals who grew up in environments where their behaviour was closely monitored or evaluated, self adjustments like hair tucking can become habitual responses to perceived scrutiny.”
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   Hair tucking can also have no deeper meaning whatsoever. Dr. Maroño says, “Not every behaviour we observe carries a deep psychological meaning. People develop habits based on comfort, environment, and repetition. For example, if someone has long hair, or hair that falls forward easily, they may simply tuck it behind their ear out of practicality.”

   • “Environmental factors such as wind, humidity, or physical activity can make the behaviour more frequent,” Dr. Maroño explains. “In these cases, the movement reflects habit or convenience rather than emotion.”
   • Dr. Maroño concludes, “Overall, the behaviour can mean nothing more than habit or comfort, yet in some contexts it may reflect mild nervous system activation or a need for regulation. The key is not to interpret the behaviour in isolation. To understand the psychological meaning behind it, you look at patterns, timing, and the emotional or social context in which it appears.”
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Section 3 of 4:

How to Stop Tucking Hair Behind Ears

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   Opt for styles that keep hair away from the face. Whether you’re getting ready to go to the gym or to work, there are plenty of fabulous hairstyles designed to keep your hair out of your face. A ponytail or a slicked-back bun are classic options. Hairstylist and salon owner Martha Ellen Mabry recommends using “hair ties, clips, bobby pins, or styling products like hairspray.” Here are some other examples of other sleek styles:

   • The Aussie Slick Back: This viral style is an elevated ponytail. The hair is parted in the middle and tied into a ponytail. Then, the hair around the crown is teased slightly to create more volume and secured with gel or pomade. Voila!
   • Hair Down & Pinned Back: Taking inspiration from the big hair of the 1960s, this look requires some hairspray and bobby pins. Part your hair down the middle, using bobby pins to secure the hair right above and behind the ears. Tease and lock in with spray.
   • Y2K Bun: People had great hair in 1999 because they took risks. Now, you can too by using a scrunchie or clip to create the messiest, funkiest bun possible. Aim for security with a few pieces sticking out from the top and sides of the bun.
   • Bubble Braids: This adorable, trending style requires a bunch of rubber hair bands and a bit of patience. Pull your hair up into a pony and divide the hair into small sections using the hair bands. Then, gently pull the hair inside the bands to make the bubbles.
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   Find something else to fidget with. Compulsively tucking your hair behind your ears is a form of fidgeting. Fidgeting can happen as a result of conditions like ADHD and anxiety, although it can also manifest out of sheer boredom or as a way to help you concentrate on a task. If tucking your hair behind your ears has caused breakage and become a problem, here are some fidget-friendly tools to help you:

   • Worry beads: Although they’re similar to a rosary or prayer beads, worry beads have no spiritual or religious meaning. They’re a string of beads made of smooth, touch-sensitive materials, aimed at reducing stress and anxiety.
   • Stress ball: Stress balls are used for the exact purpose that their name implies: to alleviate stress. Typically made out of polyurethane foam, stress balls offer an opportunity to release pent-up energy and nerves.
   • Fidget spinner: This toy was all the rage a few years ago, allowing fidgety folk to finally feel seen. It usually works by having two or more weighted areas rotating around the center. Ideal for those with ADHD, these toys can improve focus while lowering stress.
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   Address the underlying anxiety. Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW explains that anxiety is a “signal,” and usually, “the tip of the iceberg.” She suggests that you try to first identify what is causing the anxiety, whether it be fear, sadness, trauma, or something else. According to Jacobs Hendel, it’s only after you know what your triggers are that you can ”process those emotions.” Here are some ideas:

   • Try journaling. Jotting down your thoughts and feelings daily in a journal is proven to improve self-awareness and mood, while reducing anxiety. During an anxious episode, challenge yourself to write down all the emotions contributing to your anxiety.
   • Practice mindfulness and meditation. Mindfulness is all about existing in the present moment, without making judgments or worrying about the future. Meditation is active mindfulness. Try sitting in a comfortable position while doing breathwork.
   • Speak to a therapist. Working with a mental health professional can help you identify your triggers if you’re struggling to do so on your own.
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Section 4 of 4:

Is tucking your hair always bad?

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   Not necessarily, and many people find it to be a cute hairstyle. If you’re somebody who is constantly fidgeting with their hair and tucking it repeatedly behind their ears, the reality is that it could lead to actual hair damage and hair loss. However, hair tucked behind one or both ears is still a popular hairstyle that lots of people love. If you’re one of them, no need to give it up!

   • If the fidgeting is a result of anxiety, journaling, meditation, and speaking with a mental health professional can help.
   • Jacobs Hendel says that a “long-term fix” would be to really “get curious” about what’s inducing your anxiety and then gradually detaching yourself from those self-limiting beliefs, traumas, and behaviors.

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